


Family matters

by existencialvoidofexistence



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Autistic Paul matthews, Cannon Divergence, Crack I guess?, Gen, Infected!Alice, Infected!Bill, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Paul Matthews, Original Characters - Freeform, Other, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, aro ted (the guy who didn’t like musicals), bi Emma Perkins, bi ted (the guy who didn’t like musicals), gay hidgens, lesbian paul matthews, poly hidgens, trans Emma Perkins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2019-11-07 16:52:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 3,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17964368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/existencialvoidofexistence/pseuds/existencialvoidofexistence
Summary: A reclusive biology professor, a sleazeball, a crabby barista, and the “guy” who didn’t like musicals live on in a world in which the musical apocalypse has come and gone, and may just find family in the process.(While I’m trying to represent everyone as best i can, any input from people with more comprehensive experiences is always appreciated)





	1. Chapter 1

Paul watched in horror and only _mild_  disgust as the professor flew across the floor of the bunker with two of _them_  in tow, his friends squirming in their seats in a desperate yet futile attempt to escape. Their voices and footprints alike echoed off of the concrete walls, the sounds surrounding him in a manner that was almost suffocating. He observed his companions helplessly, his only option thus far being to cover his ears in a meaningless attempt to minimise the sensory overload while he waited for an opening. When the trio finally strode from the room, Paul heaved a sigh of relief at the sudden quiet stillness that blanketed the sparse room, before working on Emma and Ted’s bindings, his fingers slipping occasionally as he hurried to finish before _they_  returned with a newly infected professor in tow. Each time they did, the rope burning his skin, he muttered a quiet “ok”, willing himself to work through the seemingly small setbacks, which now really were a matter of life and death, rather than just feeling that way.

 

As they ran, Emma speeding ahead of the others, the watch given to him by general McNamara rubbed uncomfortably on his wrist, the leather strap just _slightly_ too tight and the buckle applying pressure in exactly the wrong place, reminding him to relay the general’s message. Before they could leave Ted stopped the group, who were already running late, telling them of his plans to be a better person. Paul fidgeted uncomfortably as he did, watching Emma, who was looking uncomfortable, or maybe a little constipated. She cut him off, trying to hurry them on before _they_  came back, but the town and the bunker both seemed eerily quiet. Not even the faint humming of the electric fences was present now.

 

Suddenly the outer doors of the bunker flew open with a metallic clanging, and a tall figure, draped dramatically against the frame could be seen, silhouetted by the cheap fluorescent lighting within. Paul looked on in confusion until Emma shrieked, her eyes wide. After looking between the two a few times paul realised her fear - the professor, now infected, was back. Ted tried to slip away but Emma restrained him long enough, at least, for the three to hear as he spoke - not sang, but spoke - to tell them that it was over. _They_  might not be gone but they might just have changed enough to save the world.

 

Emma seemed unconvinced.


	2. Chapter 2

Emma’s brow furrowed as she listened to the professor, flinching each time he moved and avoiding eye contact, which proved difficult when the man seemed unwilling to speak to anyone else. He explained how _they_  had a lot more interest in the music itself than in the spread of the infection and that having a direction, a project if you will, would keep them occupied enough to not try to create their own.

 

“But how did you know it would work?” Emma queried. Hidgens looked sheepish.

 

“... I had a theory...”

 

“Oh ya? You had a theory? You kidnapped me and Emma because you had a fucking theory? You almost got us killed.”

 

“Ted. I am a performer at heart. And I need an audience.”

 

“You’ll get used to it, kidnappings are pretty routine when you’re friends with this guy.”

 

“You consider us friends Emma?” The professor looked at her with so much affection that she briefly considered retracting her statement, but was enveloped with a hug before she could protest. Paul, having watched the exchange in slightly confused silence, finally spoke up.

 

“So like, This is fine but we can’t exactly stay in hatchetfield and...” he checked the watch he was wearing, before fumbling to undo the clasp and tucking it into his pocket, “... the helicopter has probably left so, how are we leaving?”

 

“I think I have a helicopter somewhere?”

 

“Professor do you know how to fly a helicopter?” Emma’s voice was muffled where her face was still being pressed into his abdomen.

 

“Emma I don’t even have a driver’s license what the fuck do you think.”

 

“Well this is encouraging!” Emma couldn’t see Ted past Hidgens, but he sounded frustrated and abrasive. Not that that was any different from the other times she’d heard him speak.

 

“Do you have any better ideas?” The professor finally released Emma, and she gulped in air as the three shook their heads.

 

“I guess we should try it?”

 

“Just remember to wear a seatbelt”


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

Ted glanced at his companions uncomfortably. While he was glad to be leaving the shithole that was Hatchetfield, he wasn’t sure how to feel about the fact that _they_  were flying the helicopter. Especially since _they_  referred specifically to what used to be Bill and his daughter. He felt a little guilty, though it clearly wasn’t his fault that he doesn’t know how to deal with emotions. He didn’t _want_ to upset Bill, and he definitely didn’t want him to fucking _die_. He quickly buried these thoughts deep, deep down, to where they’d hopefully never resurface, though it was unlikely this barricade would hold when he was left alone.

 

He turned his attention to the others. Emma and Paul were discussing something or other quietly, looking rather comfortable and relaxed considering the circumstances. They were leaning across the isle between the seats, Emma having completely ignored Paul’s suggestion that she wear a seatbelt. The professor was lounging smugly and surprisingly elegantly on his seat, the belt having untucked his turtleneck and exposed a sliver of his hip which ted definitely did not stare at. Much. The other man’s feet were practically in his lap, making him rather hard to ignore, though in fairness there was little space in the cabin _not_  being occupied by some part of Hidgens’ body or other. He was a rather large man with no concept of personal space or knowledge of how to sit in a way that was socially acceptable after all.

 

He tilted his head back to look at the ceiling and willed himself to sleep, but as usual it never came.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Henry grimaced and stretched. As fabulous as he must have looked draped across the uncomfortable seat of the helicopter, he wasn’t as young as he used to be and his back was killing. He slowly moved his feet, one of which seemed to have found itself in Ted’s crotch, and straightened himself up, at least physically. The other man stirred at the movement and opened one eye accusingly, earning him a small wave and a slightly apologetic smile. Ted seemed satisfied with this and returned to his original position.

 

Crossing his legs daintily, Henry watched Emma and Paul, who wad followed Ted’s example and were sleeping peacefully, their pinkies linked together and contented smiles on their faces. He sighed fondly, looking to Bill and the girl in the front. He hadn’t spoken to Bill much before the infection took him but he knew he cared for his daughter... Allison?... a lot. And even through the infection he could see that she loved her father just as dearly.

 

Content with his observations, and with now aching legs, Henry corrected his position and hummed quietly to himself until the notes of working boys dissolved into gentle snores.


	5. Chapter 5

Paul stirred, and rubbed the crick in his neck, silently cursing himself for falling asleep in such an awkward position. He stretched out his fingers, which were hanging limply by his side and looked up to make eye contact with Emma, who was watching him fondly. Beside him ted was mumbling restlessly, while the low rumble of the professor’s snoring blanketed the room. Emma looked as though she was about to say something, which Paul assumed was going to be a continuation on their previous discussion about movies and pot farms and Paul’s _complicated_  relationship with musicals, at least until...

 

“Paul?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I know why you came into beanies all those times, instead of just going to starbucks down the street. And it wasn’t because you liked our shit coffee. Our coffee was shit. ‘Cause we didn’t care”

 

“Uuh”

 

“And sometimes we would spit in it, and you might’ve drank my spit, but I didn’t know you back then, and I wish I did. But I do now. So Paul, when we get to... wherever the fuck we’re going... Professor where are we going?”

 

The professor glared jokingly at Emma at being woken up. “Why new york of course. We’re going to broadway! Why?”

 

“No reason,” She smiled at hidgens, before looking back to paul, “when we get to New York I’d love to see a nice _silent_  movie with you.”

 

“Wait you mean like...?”

 

“Kiss me?”

 

They kissed tentatively before breaking apart in a fit of giggles at the “ugh” which a now awake Ted had let out. This state of hysterics was worsened by the clear look of disgust on his face and the tear that hidgens was delicately dabbing at with a silken handkerchief he seemed to have pulled from nowhere while he murmured “my baby’s all grown up” under his breath.

 


	6. Chapter 6

When she had finally recovered (for the third time) from being referred to as the professor’s baby, Emma quickly began to continue their previous conversation, watching paul with a slightly giddy expression of joy and determinedly avoiding her mentor’s gaze, lest she fall victim to another laughing fit.

 

“So, uuh... was that a yes?”

 

“Oh right, yeah. Yeah!”

 

“Sooo you, Paul Matthews, are my boyfriend now? Fuck yeah!”

 

“Well... not exactly.”

 

“What so like... datemate?”

 

“I like it.”

 

Emma reached out and took his hand again, more firmly this time than before, looking around at her companions. Soon she had her head thrown back at the sight of Hidgens clutching his heart and swooning, with Ted looking on in amusement, his eyebrow raised, and of Paul beaming at her as he quietly watched her laugh.


	7. Chapter 7

The helicopter finally landed in Central Park, cutting close enough to send Emma, who was still neglecting her seatbelt flying into the lap of her new datemate.

 

“I told you to wear a seatbelt.” Both Emma and Ted rolled their eyes at this. When the four had stretched, the doors had slid open, and Ted’s jaw had dropped at the speed and skill with which the professor had decked three police officers while proclaiming “fuck blue lives”, the remaining three walked from the helicopter, blinking at the sudden brightness and secretly envying the hideous pink sunglasses which hidgens was now wearing and, frankly, rocking.

 

“At least these one’s brains didn’t fall out”

 

Paul and Emma rolled their eyes, while hidgens looked at Ted over the frames of his sunglasses and raised an eyebrow delicately.

 

“What?”

 

Ted watched as the professor slid out his phone and walked away with it pressed to his ear, Paul and Emma following behind with their hands entwined, before jogging slightly to catch them up.

 


	8. Chapter 8

* * *

 

“I need you to find me somewhere in new york big enough to build a six-bedroom bunker and a pot farm.”

 

“What?”

 

“We’ll need it by sundown.”

 

“Dude that’s like 12 hours.”

 

“You’ll be fine.”

 

“I fucking hate you.”

 

“Love you too.”

 

“Privileged fuck.”

 

Henry slid his phone back into his pocket, stooped to pluck a _colchium species_ , which he tucked behind his ear, held firmly in place by the arms of his glasses, and led the group towards the towering buildings of the city.


	9. Chapter 9

Paul looked up at the towering buildings in awe, their windows glittering in the sunlight, as Emma tugged him along behind the group, their fingers intertwined. Hidgens powered ahead, clearly a man on a mission, dropping back whenever Alice and Bill, who were straggling behind after having abandoned the helicopter, fell out of sight. Ted was jogging slightly to keep up with the taller man, and the two were making conversation. Eventually they reached a clearing between tightly packed buildings and fast-moving crowds, where the professor led them to a halt.

 

“Emma, take paul and go buy us some fresh clothes and shit, I don’t think anyone brought any. Bill, Allison, we’ll need groceries for us and some of whatever you eat. Ted, with me. We’re going to see Alicia.”

 

Emma squeezed his hand, and when it had been established that everyone had enough money the group parted ways.


	10. Chapter 10

Emma strolled through the streets hand-in-hand with her datemate, weaving through the crowds with ease. She led him through the streets, collecting a map along the way,  and quickly located a target. As the pair wandered through the isles, chatting affectionately, they randomly grabbed clothes that caught their eyes, laughing guiltily when Emma pulled a _walking dead_  crop top from the racks in Alice’s size, and more freely when Paul found an exact replica of the shoes from _kinky boots_  for the professor.

 

Eventually, arms piled high with clothes, they stumbled to the checkout, regretting not bringing a basket, and dumped everything on the conveyor. A set of four matching tank tops reading “move I’m gay” was thrown on top for her, Paul, Hidgens and Alice, and by the time the pair left, content with their purchases, the September sun was high overhead, leaving them to struggle out of the shop in search of their friends, or perhaps hot dogs, while they waited for affairs to be settled.


	11. Chapter 11

Ted jogged beside the professor, damn him and his long legs, asking questions about the mysterious “Alicia”. So far all he knew was that she seemed to be an old friend of Hidgens’, and apparently loved cats. Thankfully he waited for ted when he stopped occasionally to give banknotes to a couple of people he saw sleeping rough. He met the older man’s questioning look with a shrug.

 

“It’s a tough life.”

 

When they finally reached Alicia’s apartment, a lively building with red-painted bricks and vibrant plants trailing from the windowsills, the professor rapped neatly on the door. Within seconds a dark-skinned woman with a chaotically amicable grin flew through the door in pursuit of a scruffy brown furball.

 

“Hey alicia,” Hidgens greeted the woman. “Zazzy,” he said, in a manner that was comically professional, scratching the ears of the cat which she now held in her arms.


	12. Chapter 12

 

Henry sat cross-legged on the battered couch, watching his new friend chatting with his oldest. His favourite cat, Jemilla, sat regally on his lap, watching a fluffy brown runt, Tyblin, try to claw her way up Ted’s leg to join Chorn, a huge flat-faced ginger on his lap. The two humans opposite him were sharing stories which he assumed were about him, though nothing overly embarrassing had happened yet. He smiled contemplatively while he scratched behind the ear of the contented siamese, his silence broken when Alicia finally addressed him.

 

“You found a boy yet asshat or are you still mopping?” She turned back to ted, “it’s been 30 fucking years since his boyfriends died and he hasn’t even started getting over it.”

 

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, and Ted looked the way he felt. Alicia however was unfazed.

 

“What? If I don’t make you talk about it you never will”

 

Henry conceded, before texting Emma a meeting place, and saying goodbye to his friend and her cats. Then, after returning his sunglasses to his face, careful not to crush his flower, he let Ted out of the door and into the streets of New York.

 


	13. Chapter 13

Paul walked heavy-laden through the streets next to Emma and Bill, with Alice running ahead to see the sights. The four munched on hotdogs, chatting amicably, and while it was slightly unnerving to hear Bill and Alice sing every word, Paul was beginning to adjust to the new sensation. Soon they were met by a sour-faced professor, venting about something to Ted as he dragged the man down the street. Paul thought to ask about it, but Emma quickly silenced him. She squeezed Hidgens’ shoulder, and pointed out that the group should find somewhere to stay. Soon the bags had been redistributed and Paul had his fingers entwined with Emmas’, as the professor marched them through the streets in search of an acceptable motel.


	14. Chapter 14

Three motels and a slightly less angry professor later, the group finally came to a halt in a lobby that looked exactly like the others, but which her mentor seemed to have deemed acceptable based on some unknown criteria which Emma imagined to be defendability. Soon, after the unanimous decision to pair off and room-share in order to somewhat preserve Hidgens’ bank account during their indefinite stay while the new bunker was built, six exhausted travellers filed into one blue-painted room and sat down, distributing clothes and food between them. The top they had bought her gained a rather undignified snort from Alice - a long shot from the musical laugh they had been expecting, and when Hidgens had been presented with his new boots he immediately tried them on, strutting across the room with an exaggerated swaying in his hips, and leaving a hilariously stunned-looking Ted in his wake. When the others eventually departed, the professor still donning glittering heels, Emma was left to collect a blue pharmaceutical bag left by her mentor and cuddle with her new datemate.


	15. Chapter 15

Ted followed Hidgens through the doorway, entranced by the ridiculous height of the other man in his heels. The two sat opposite each other on the bed, the professor leaning cross-legged against the headboard, as they rifled through bags of clothes in search of something acceptable to sleep in. Hidgens was already watching him thoughtfully, a bundle of fabric in his arms,when ted finally plucked out a pair of jogging bottoms and a flannel shirt. He shrugged and walked into the bathroom too change, laughing when the professor groaned at the explosion of clothes that he had left in his wake.


	16. Chapter 16

Henry was sat delicately on the pillow, silken booty shorts firmly in place, when Ted returned. 

 

“So uuh... Ted?”

 

“Hmmm”

 

“I never knew you had it in you to be so generous.”

 

“Wha?”

 

“Earlier”

 

Ted sighed. “It’s a long story.”

 

“We’ve got all night.”

 

He watched as Ted shifted into a more comfortable position opposite him.

 

“When I was 15 I was kicked out because _apparently_ taking my brother to see rent was gonna _make him gay_ ”

 

“What kinda bullshit”

 

“Honestly it’s probably the best thing that ever happened to me.”

 

“Yeesh.”

 

“Yeah. I do miss David sometimes though. That’s what thirty years of estrangement will do to you I guess.”

 

“We’ll find him eventually.”

 

“Thank you professor.”


	17. Chapter 17

Paul lay on his back on the surprisingly comfortable motel bed, now donning a soft black T-shirt and a pair of baby-blue boxer shorts, his legs dangling from the mattress as he kicked them rhythmically back and forth. His arms lay by his sides, his hands a blur as they tapped against the mattress. He smiled blissfully at the sudden return to safety, normality, comfort and _quiet_. This increased tenfold when Emma lifted one of his arms to crawl under it and rest her head on his tummy, humming quietly.


	18. Chapter 18

Emma rested her head on Paul, feeling his tummy rise and fall in time with his breath, that _fucking_  song that the professor wrote running through her head unendingly. She quickly sat up to take the pills that the professor had given her, disturbing her datemate, and winced slightly as they scraped along her raw throat.

 

“What’s that?”

 

Emma pointed to each of the pillboxes in turn. “Oestrogen,” she said, “and anti-androgens.”

 

Paul looked stunned. “You don’t have to stab yourself to take it?!”

 

“You don’t have to... Paul _what the fuck._ ”

 

“I gotta inject my testosterone.”

 

“No, I’m pretty sure there’s other ways to to it”

 

“Technically, yeah, but I’m allergic to the patches, and gel is just -“ Paul shuddered, and Emma nodded understandingly.

 

“I can get the professor to write you a new prescription tomorrow if you need. G’night paul.”

 

“Night Em.”


	19. Chapter 19

Hidgens was looking notably more relaxed now, leaning comfortably against the frame of the bed. Ted thought for a moment before speaking.

 

“You wanna talk about whatever it is Alicia said?”

 

The professor sighed. “I will. But not tonight.”

 

Ted shrugged. “I haven’t worked her out yet.”

 

“She’s a good person, she’s just a little forward sometimes.”

 

Ted raised his eyebrows. “Sometimes?”

 

The older man chuckled, his face lighting up, and Ted watched him for a second before speaking again, lower and quieter than before.

 

“Tell anyone what we discussed today and I will personally see that you choke to death on shit.”

 

The professor snorted, somehow retaining his grace, but nodded sincerely. He turned his attention to the bed “There’s enough room for both of us, right?”

 

“Yeah, I’d say so,” Ted raised a finger sternly, “but no cuddling. Got it?”


	20. Chapter 20

Henry awoke with Ted sprawled across his chest, loosely straddling his waist. The moustache was tickling his neck slightly with every gentle snore that the other man let out, but Henry managed to suppress his need to squirm in favour of keeping Ted both sleeping adorably and in his arms. Instead he wrapped one arm around the small of his friend's back, and began to scroll through tumblr on his phone with the other. Absolutely useless website, but at least it would be less creepy than staring when Ted did eventually wake up. Plus Emma got pissed when he went through her blog, which was always amusing. 

Henry began humming relaxedly when Ted wound his fingers through his hair, the smile on his face far too pure to ever be seen when he was awake. 


End file.
